| Cubby Creatures Released After Being Held Captive by the Yuddles
SAN FRANCISCO -- Cubby Creatures Brian Weaver, Bill Fisher, Jason Gonzales, and Emily Davis were released in the middle of November after having been held captive for two and a half weeks by the notoriously anti-Cubby organization the Council of Yuddle. Known for their desire and determination to kill the Cubby movement because of its ideals of positive spiritual, and thereby social, change through creativity, art and craft, the Yuddle Council has a long history of interfering with Cubby activities in order to thwart the Cubbies' message of "revolution through inspired living." Their latest devious act against the Cubbies was to kidnap them, hold them captive and take their place at the Cubby Halloween show at the Make-Out Room on October 30. According to Kcuh Tserof (pronounced Kuh Sir-off), the Council's director and manager of the Yuddle Golf Landscaping Services and Supply store on York Street in the Mission, the purpose of performing in place of the Cubbies at the Make-Out Room was to show the world that "anybody can play those stupid songs the Cubbies write, and therefore art is easy and requires no real skill or creativity at all, as the Cubbies claim it does, and therefore artistic endeavors should be abandoned." Tserof did not perform in the Yuddle's anti-Cubby band because, according to him, "I don't know a thing about music, other than that it's stupid." According to most persons who attended the show, the Yuddle's performance was for the most part lackluster. One audience member, who declined to be identified, said, "I couldn't hear the keyboard too well." Another attendee reported that the Yuddles seemed "...really tired or something, 'cause they weren't moving around much or anything. It was really kinda boring." Despite mostly bad reviews of the Yuddles, one spectator enthusiastically exclaimed "They were great. They sounded like Built to Spill." The Cubby Creatures themselves reported no injuries and claim to be in good health after their release. Apparently they awoke in their rehearsal space in northeast Potrero Hill feeling "groggy, hungry and listless," wondering what had happened. According to Brian Weaver, Cubby Creatures bassist, "Yeah, I don't remember a thing, except I think I had a dream I was playing golf." Bill Fisher, Cubby guitarist, relayed that he "spent most of the time in a fetal position in the corner, shivering and quivering." Emily Davis, Cubby violinist, on the other hand, exclaimed "In the past few years my drug intake has dramatically decreased, so I had a great time! The Yuddle has some sweet connections." Jason Gonzales, Cubby percusionist, agreed, "Yeah, those were some really good drugs they gave us," but he did confess, "I kinda feel like all I want to do is go home and watch TV or maybe stare at the wall." The last thing the Cubbies remember is being at their rehearsal space the night before the Halloween show and eating some Halloween cookies that they thought were left out for them by their rehearsal space cohabitants The Shimmer Kids. Next thing they knew they were tied up, laying on the floor, "looking at a room full of golf clubs, golf balls, and golf tees, with lots of pictures of golf courses on the wall." Weaver has declared that despite being "pissed off about the whole thing, I just want people to know that the Yuddles are bitter, jaded reptilians that are more dangerous than they may seem. They would like to see all the people of the world turn into robots lacking any desire or will to create art and think beyond the prison of their minds. Don't listen to the Yuddles, and continue to fight the system by writing songs and stories, drawing pictures, and creating all kinds of art." |