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SAN FRANCISCO -- For a couple years, the photo of Brian Weaver, Emily Davis,
and Bill Fisher with an unidentified man behind them has graced the home page
of cubby.net. "What is the Cubby?" a sign on their table asks. "It's as if they've set up a little 'help booth' for the curious but yet they're just as curious about what the cubby is," a recent reviewer explained. "It's as if they're posing the question not just rhetorically but because they really expect the world to answer." Rumors have begun to surface that the cubby's identity will finally be revealed some time later this year, but by whom and in what form and what to expect no one seems to know. But now, a new question has captured Cubby scholars' interest: Who is that man standing behind the three cubby creatures in the home-page photograph? And could it be reputedly alive Ronald Bonemaker? "I think that fourth person goes largely unnoticed," said one prominent Cubbyologist Monday. "I think that most people assume that those are the four cubby creatures, that the man standing seemingly elbow-to-elbow with Brian Weaver on one side and Emily Davis on the other is Jason Gonzales, Cubby Creature drummer/vocalist/songwriter. It is not Jason Gonzales, though. And even more shocking is that it appears to be none other than supposedly deceased presidential candidate Ronald Bonemaker." This analyst is not alone; and the question of whether Bonemaker might be alive or at least appearing in some spectral form—some photographable spectral form—has generated a lot of talk this year. Bonemaker was the presidential candidate for the Cubby party in 2000. He was the first avowed vegan ever to run for president and also the first presidential candidate in history to have a three-volume memoir about his decades-long relationship with a battered transsexual accountant under his belt. He ran against Al Gore and George Bush, but just before the election he was gunned down on a San Francisco street corner, now known as Bonemaker Plaza. The campaign and the assassination were both painstakingly chronicled on the cable access program "Cubbyvision" in November 2000. In the closing moments of that month's episode, Bonemaker's body seemingly disintegrates into thin air, leaving only his clothing—a striped white shirt, a simple pair of brown polyester slacks, and a smart tie, all blood-soaked. "The disappearance of Bonemaker was always thought to have been derived from Star Wars." Cubbyologist Casserole Whiteman said in his weekly Cubby lecture at UC Casa de Fruta last Thursday. As the bodies of Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda simply disappear when those characters die, so it was with Bonemaker. We'd always interpreted that as a pretty straightforward homage to Star Wars, and I'm really not sure I want to let go of that one." In other news, what appears to be a lost or brand new piece of lyric has only just today—Indigenous People's and/or Columbus Day—been discovered. Experts agree that this could fit nicely into Blessed Invention track Upsong: "Somebody said the cubby was dead, but maybe her fancy was just underfed. Some never questioned, some never flinched, the cubby's existence has always been cinched." |