Mr. Quigley is a "born again" Christian truck driver, who suffers blackout periods during his frequent relapses due to his penchant for crystal meth, huffing and alcohol. In addition to being a recovering substance abuser, he is also plagued by Tourette's Syndrome and a past that includes a career in the late 80's as an adult film star, a brief marriage to Tina Yothers, and a graphic sex tape of himself and Vanilla Ice engaged in a heated "shrimping" incident.

He stood trial in the early 90's for public exposure during one of his infamous "Shrimp Fests" where he was erroneously donned "Red Lobster-fest" by the "ever cruel media". He was convicted and sentenced to five years in Mississippi State Prison. Ironically, it was in prison where Mr. Quigley found Jesus, renounced his sins and became "born again". During his term in the Mississippi State Pen, he completed a Bachelor's Degree, Magna Cum Laude, in Philosophy via correspondence with Princeton University. Upon his release he attempted to find work as a philosopher, but daunted by the lack of need for philosophical laborers and unable to publish his manifesto, "I, A Squirrel", he turned his hand to writing and developing the Christian Children's show The Good Jolly Gospel Show that debuted on the Christian United National Television (C.U.N.T.). His show, which featured Mr. Q, using popsicle stick people to illustrate such biblical topics as sodomy and pederasty, was plagued by Mr. Quigley's unintended obscenities that sprung from his Tourette's Syndrome. His inability to publicly acknowledge his Tourette's, in conjunction with his past reputation as a felon, lead to both the media and public to spurn him and his many talents, forever ruining his dreams of hosting his own children's television show.

After this painful, personal fiasco, Q found work as a truck driver for the prestigious firm "Trucking for Jesus". But Q was a changed squirrel. He was a bitter, cynical shadow of himself. Days on the road lead to fits of depression, constipation and a new friend...Mugsy, the pet hemorrhoid, something that he is doomed to wander the earth with forever tethered to him by a leash that came out of his ass.

Mr. Quigley's current goal is to spread the good word of Christ in person and by CB radio, despite his Tourette's, and perhaps make employee of the month.

He/She/It travels throughout time and space, appearing to others as a stranger, either in human or animal form.

His/Her/It's purpose is to extract hidden mysteries, talents or secrets from others, enabling them to see themselves in a different way.

Once a human being, Wanda McGwen died at the age of 13 and went to the land where the dead people go. As a regular person, Wanda loved to play tricks on others and did so frequently. In the land of the dead people, she was given the opportunity to play the ultimate trick - to fool with her own identity. The only catch was that she would have to use her shape-changing ability to help other people or animals discover a mystery about themselves that they didn't previously know. She was not going to be allowed to:

1. Play tricks in her old manner.

2. Reveal her ability (by changing in front of anyone). OR

3. Relate her story of how she once was a "normal" human

The consequence so breaking these rules were not explained to her.

She creeps on the empty pilings of her thoughts like they were hidden secrets waiting to trip her up and make her fall into the sea. Her memory is mostly scattered with a slight chance of recall. Plum trees and skunks make her vividly recall her childhood, but the smell of Polaroid camera developer only creates a warm fuzzy memory of the night before.

She is much like a sponge, soaking up the thoughts of everyone around her. Strangers? faces glow when they walk past her and sometimes bolts of energy fly out of their foreheads? and slice at her insides, cutting large gashes that take days to heal. The only thing that protects her from such experiences, besides root beer floats and Al Green records, is standing on vibrating railroad tracks with her bare feet. This is tricky, knowing that the oncoming train is the cause of the vibrations, but she hasn?t been crushed yet.

Jorge is one of those executive-type cowboys that wears their ten-gallon Stetson even inside the Buick. You know the type. You've probably even seen Jorge represented in the mass media and popular culture wars, but you didn't know it was Jorge.

Sir Softalot, the crime-fighting fabric softener sheet, bounds from dryer to dryer, sniffing out clues in dirty laundry. Working with a special office of the police department, our hero tumbles from one crime scene to another, ever in search of his arch nemesis, "Skid" Marx.

Madison is a large, puffy baby of ambiguous gender who knows more than anyone about the Arts and Sciences. Although the child cannot yet speak adult language, its thoughts are expressed in the form of pleasant gurgles, burps and facial contortions. Oftentimes, those keeping company with Madison experience visceral and biological responses to his/her thoughts. Because of this, adults cherish the baby's company and often indulge in long-winded, lopsided conversations in his/her presence. The child's birth name is often replaced with myriad nicknames. Common are: "Poopsie-Poopsie", "Baby Grand", "Doc", "Lil" "Clever Hamster", and "Sugar Head".